Grant Cardone, the high-performing, no-nonsense entrepreneur and speaker, says, "I'm going to do anything and everything, remove every boulder, every hurdle and every problem out of my way to make my dreams come true."
As a man, that quote puts a spark in my blood. When I hear talk of overcoming hurdles and problems to achieve something truly meaningful, I’m ready to go.
Try it. Picture yourself as the underdog. Your eyes are focused. You wake up early to start making cold calls to get ahead of your competition. When a top prospect says no the first time, you keep pressing. You’re confident that your product is going to solve their main problem. And you make the sale.
Business is like a battle. It’s an arena men can enter to achieve success. So many men look up to entrepreneurs like Grant Cardone because he lives out this unapologetic masculinity.
But here’s a question. Why don’t you take that same drive into your relationship with God? Or why have you neglected your relationship with your wife? When was the last time you fought for her (not with her)? Many men will admit to these blind spots.
It’s unfortunate that our culture has told men that they can’t be masculine when it comes to God and marriage. Bloggers and pundits tell us that we can’t be bold. Celebrities say that masculinity is toxic. It is… when it’s emotionally repressed and looked down on. But it’s healthy on its own.
The truth is, men can be bold in with God and their wives just like they are in business. Here are three tips for embracing your inner confidence and courage.
1. Orient Yourself Correctly
An oriented ship is a ship that’s pointed in the right direction. You use a compass to orient yourself in the wilderness.
When it comes to God, men too often orient to a concept, which has serious consequences. Too often, God becomes an idea, a distant thing that preachers command us to worship and love. But that isn’t God. You can’t love an idea. God is a person. This means we’re meant to have a real, experiential relationship with him.
Another way to say this is that God is Love. Love is not a concept. Love is a way to serve and connect with other people. Love has to be lived. Now imagine applying this same orientation to your marriage. Instead of coming home and immediately turning on the TV, what if you decided to truly connect with your wife? What if you lived the love you promised to her on your wedding day? It could change everything.
Make sure you orient yourself toward a relationship, not a concept.
2. Live Your Life for Others
You’re never going to find passion in your faith or marriage with good intentions. Boldness and courage take action. Once you orient yourself toward the right goal, it’s time to reach that goal.
The question is what kind of action are you going to take? Many men live for themselves. They work hard at their jobs to make money for their bank account. They buy the nice car. They treat women as things to be used, not beautiful people made in the image of God.
However, there’s nothing bolder than a man who is lit up in the flames of love, and love is focused on someone else. Use that love to serve things that matter. Serve your community, business, and family. Serve God above all, and you will rediscover a new sense of courage in everything you do.
3. Find a Place to Do Battle (Not In Your Romantic Relationships)
Men need to release their competitive edge someplace. Sports are good, but they only go so far. Hitting a smooth three-pointer feels good, but it can’t actually address your underlying emotions. Therefore, you need to find a community of men that will challenge you.
Find men who you can stand up to and who stand up to you. Find those friends who will call you out when you cut corners, the friends who say, “The way you spoke to your wife the other night, that wasn’t appropriate.”
I know that men don’t like to be vulnerable. But a group like this isn’t for talking about mushy feelings. It’s a place where iron sharpens iron. All men need accountability and mentorship. Accountability will keep you pursuing God and your spouse with a true sense of determination.
Men are hardwired to be bold toward God, wife, and business. By orienting yourself correctly, acting in love, and finding a group of men to challenge you, you can rediscover this lost masculinity.
What does this stir up in you? Please tell me in the comments below (I read ‘em all)
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