Quinell Dixon and I share similar life stories. Both of us grew up in poor families, and both of us became entrepreneurs to try and escape that lifestyle.
 
“I didn’t come from a family of money,” Quinell says, “I didn’t have things handed to me." 
 
Quinell recalls one story that truly shaped him. When he was about nine years old, he asked his mother if he could have money to go to the store for a snack. She handed me a five-dollar bill and said, “Quinell, go to the store but please bring me some change back.”
 
That might not sound like a big deal, but when a parent hands their kid five bucks and says, “Please bring me some change back,” the kid knows something is up. The kid knows that his family can’t spare five bucks.
 
Now Quinell isn’t angry about this. He doesn’t blame his parents. Instead, he has developed a powerful WHY, a deeper purpose, that's guided him in his success. 
 
He says, “Moments like that give you the opportunity to say, 'There are things that are bigger than me, there’s a legacy they want you to lead, there’s something deeper within me that wants to be consistent for my family and for my generations to come.'”

Early on in her therapy business, Atara Malach was asked to speak to a group of working parents. As a parenting expert with six kids of her own, she was the perfect speaker for the event, and she was looking forward to it. 
 
On the night of the event, Atara was prepared. She had written her lecture days in advance. She had her notes ready to go. She looked the part of successful, professional woman. 
 
And as a loving mother, she had found a babysitter. She made sure the kids were fed. She even set out the kids’ clothes for the next day.
 
But as soon as she was about to leave for the lecture, her son curled up by the door and said, “Mommy, don’t leave.”

IT BROKE HER HEART.

Atara hugged him and told him things would be alright. She tried bribing him. The minutes ticked by. Eventually, she had to peel the little boy off her leg, hand him to the babysitter, and head to her talk.
 
When she finally stepped on stage, she couldn’t start her speech. She could only think of her son and how sad he had been as he watched his mom leave him. The guilt paralyzed her.
 
“I don’t know what to tell you,” she said. “I do know that I did not sign up for this, and I think that part of being stuck in my business life is feeling torn… When I am home, I’m thinking about business and when I’m at my business I’m feeling guilty that I’m not where I should be.”

​Startup Nation, today I’m going to share a story, and it’s going to be a story about Jesus. I know not all my listeners are Christian or even religious. That’s ok. But this story reveals a critical mindset that allows entrepreneurs like you to overcome tiredness, frustration, and depression.
 
One day Jesus was on a mountain teaching a large crowd of people. He was teaching them about how to live and about who God is. This crowd wasn’t full of professors, or priests, or billionaires. These were regular people like you and me.
 
Jesus understood the problems facing regular people. He knew that we worry. We worry about jobs, and food, and clothing. So, to encourage the crowd of listeners, he said, “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’… But seek first [God’s] kingdom and his righteousness, and all of these things will be given to you as well.”

​Have you ever come home for Christmas dinner, and your eggnog wielding uncle Tim asks, "So how's the remote control airplane hobby?"

Remote control airplanes?!? That was your junior year of high school. Over the past twenty years you've been running a seven-figure startup that refurbishes vintage furniture. You just broke up with your fiancé. You completed your 20th ultra-marathon.

But despite the person you are now, you're just a remote control airplane enthusiast to Uncle Tim.

Startup Nation, it's sad when family, friends, and colleagues only know us for our past selves. A few months back, I hosted Niajae Wallace on Your First 100k Podcast. Now a motivational speaker and entrepreneur, she has had friends say, "We can't play games with Niajae, she always cheats at cards."

​Umm... that was 10 years ago.

​Near the end of her podcast episode, I asked Niajae what one piece of advice she’d give friends and family if she could come back from the dead. ​

She said, “Love people as they are, not who they were.”
 
Startup Nation, this sentence has the power to change your life. It will transform your business, your relationships with clients, and the quality of your family life. Listen up!
 
“We’re all growing and evolving,” Niajae says, “and it’s important to treat people as they are: the new, improved, evolved version and not hold on to who they were.”
 
When I was in my teens, I sold cars for two weeks. My mom still thinks of me as a car salesman. For all my failures, successes, and growth, it’s a crime that she mostly knows me as my past self.
 
While you can't control how others see you, you can control how you treat others. Here are some practical action points for applying Niajae's wisdom bomb to your life.

Loving others for who they are doesn't just mean acknowledging their recent MBA degree. It means seeing them for who they are as a person. Again, "love people as they are, not who they were." We can do this in three ways:

1. Love: It’s the first word. Don’t treat people based on how good they are or how much you like them. No. Love people. Full out.
2. Hope: Niajae's advice assumes that the person who's right in front of you is different from the person they were yesterday. Therefore, believe that everyone has the potential to change for the better.
3. Encourage: Hope keeps us from demanding perfection from other people. Maybe the person in front of you still has a long way to go. So what? Love them as they are and BELIEVE IN WHO THEY CAN BECOME. There's room for correction and rebuke, but not at the expense of putting other people down. Because we believe in people, we encourage them.

​Startup Nation, love yourself as you are, not who you were.
 
Entrepreneurs often forget to love themselves. We have high standards: making clients happy, hitting revenue targets, and creating innovative products. When we miss those marks, we get down on ourselves.
 
Then there’s our personal lives. We’ve all failed and messed up. Some of us are addicts. Some are workaholics. Some have anger issues and some have cheated on spouses. Many of my clients suffer from debilitating negative thoughts. One client used to spend the first five minutes of every day telling himself he was crap, a fraud, a wannabe, and every other possible insult.
 
But think about the person you were five years ago. Look at the progress! And if you’re not proud of who you are, it’s not the end of the world. You are created in the image of God. You are loved by God. It’s not something you lost in the past, and it’s not something you have to strive for in the future. You are a precious son or daughter of the universe’s creator. 

​You are loved. Right now. Accept and love others right where they are. Then believe in where they can go.

If you’d like to talk more about loving yourself and others or if you don’t believe that you’re loved by God (but you’d like to), then let’s schedule a Spiritual Clarity Call. It’s free. It’s 45 minutes. It could transform your life. ​
 
Startup Nation, Niajae dropped some serious business wisdom in this episode of Your First 100k. If you want tips on scaling your business and diversifying revenue streams, you have to check it out.

​Before starting Praxis Metrics, a very successful data analytics platform, AJ and Meaghan ran their own marketing business. As CEO, AJ was the best employee in the company. He had the most expertise. That meant he was irreplaceable.
 
But one night while AJ and Meaghan were vacationing in Spain, AJ’s phone rang. It was a client emergency. No one else could solve this problem, so at 10pm - instead of spending the evening sampling tapas with his wonderful fiancé - AJ was trapped on a business call.
 
“I really didn’t want to be on these calls this late,” AJ says. “I wanted to enjoy this time with my fiancé.”